I’m home today using some vacation time to clean the house. Just now I was interrupted by a knock on the door. It turned out to be a guy going door to door and dropping off “literature” like a Jehovah’s Witness. Only this guy was from Edward Jones.
Yes, they’re that desperate.
When writing an article, it’s important to remember that some pairs of words are not equivalent and cannot be substituted for one another. Like “held” and “strangled.”
Last February, somebody at the North County Times learned this the hard way.
(Found via Criggo.)
This ad appeared in the Help Wanted section of the local college newspaper.
I’m not sure I understand the logic here.
Two passers-by, on seeing this winter’s first big snowfall:
**MAN:** Yeah, haven’t you heard? It’s the Apocalypse.
**WOMAN:** I thought Buffy saved us.
Sometimes I worry that I’m not keeping up as well as I should be with the maintenance on my house.
After reading this story, I feel better.
Everyone should read the words of acclaimed fantasist Jeffrey Ford on the evil that is Hot Pockets.
Today is Stop Talking Like a Pirate Day. So, please, everyone: stop talking like a pirate. Before someone strangles you.
According to this article in the Burlington Hawk Eye, someone in Mount Pleasant, Iowa has spent the last three years vomiting—excuse me, *regurgitating their food*—into trash bags and dumping them just outside of town:
>MOUNT PLEASANT — Trash bags filled with regurgitated food have been found littering the former Pleasant Lawn School area and in roadside ditches northeast of Mount Pleasant over the last three years.
That’s *three years,* folks.
>Late last summer, the Henry County Sheriff’s Office thought the littering had stopped. Then, on April 11, the office received another call.
>”The last call was four bags,” said Deputy Dan Wesely. Over the last three years, dozens of bags may been dropped, Wesely said. […] The bags have been of various sizes and have been filled only with regurgitated foods.
Is it possible that *one person* is doing this? How could they put this much time and effort into serial regurgitation? Or is it a group… some kind of recreational bulimia society? Is it their hobby? I know Mount Pleasant is a small town, but is there really so little to do there? This story is going to be needling my brain for *days*… and the least I can do is inflict it on anyone who comes across my blog.
Why would anyone want to steal 54 cases of beef jerky?
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