Cast of Characters

Bob Scravel

Bob would be the dullest guy in the world if he did not constantly attract random weirdness. He wanted to be a writer once, but he isn’t very good, and knows it. His periodic attempts to accomplish something rarely work out well.

 

Maynard “Buck” Miller

Maynard insists that his name is “Buck.” He lives in a rented apartment in Bob’s basement. He’s convinced that he will be a famous rock musician someday, although he’s a terrible guitarist and rarely practices. Meanwhile, he works as a freelance janitor for a secret international janitorial organization. He is mind-blowingly stupid.

 

Harriet Kray

Harriet has been annoyed with everything and everyone since the moment of her birth. She subsists on a string of jobs having something to do with computers. No one knows precisely what she does with them, because everyone is too intimidated to ask.

 

Abigail Smith

A vague and slightly self-absorbed woman who has been in a strange, passionless relationship with Bob for years. Abigail has a Ph.D. in biochemistry but has somehow ended up working in the product development lab of a small mayonnaise factory.

 

Dr. Maximilien Crane and Dr. Alexandra Smythe

Dr. Crane and Dr. Smythe are brilliant scientists. They have invented many wonderful devices and discovered the secret of eternal life and they’re not going to share any of it with anyone because they hate you.

 

Torvald

Henchman of the above. If it’s any consolation, he doesn’t hate you.

 

Supporting Cast (Rarely Seen)

Laszlo Helium

He secretly controls all clowns and mimes.

 

Professor Crumleigh

He knows everything.

 

Mr. Knowledge

Mr. Knowledge is sort of like those guys you saw in educational films in grade school, but knows less.

 

Fred: Defender of the Earth

Fred defends the earth. He has appeared in only two strips but may show up again.